I Quit!

In the moment...

These words were given to me this morning. For some time now, I have felt the "call" to blog. I have argued with The Lord because I thought, "Who in the world would want to read my writings?" Then, I realized that maybe it's more about HIM and less about ME. Hmmmm, seems like that's been a recurring theme for the last 6 months. So, here goes. My first attempt at sharing what God has brought me through, the blessings that He has brought into my life and the work that He continues to do within my heart. It's been a journey that's had a winding road, some road blocks, some U-turns, and some seemingly impossible mountains to climb. But, one constant has been that He has always been with me and will never leave me or forsake me. 

Back to the three words...In the moment...God gave those words to me first thing this morning. As sunlight was just beginning to peek through my window. As I watched my incredibly handsome husband (yes, I'm a little biased) sleep. As I listened to see if my early riser was up watching cartoons. He gave me these words...In the Moment... It was at that moment that I realized that He was trying to tell me AGAIN to just be still. Just soak it in. Enjoy THIS moment. God has given me THIS moment for a reason....to be able to give it back to him...by saying "Thank you." This is what Grace feels like, looks like. This very moment. So, I just stayed. Fighting every fiber of my being not to jump up and get started with all of the things that are calling for my attention. But, I fought it, I stayed...in the moment...just for a little while...I stayed. Still. Listening. Hearing. Soaking in. This moment. 

I have a problem. I have been a member of the Cult of the Next Thing for years. I can't enjoy where I am for fretting over where I'm going next. It's a result of my control freak, type A personality. I have to always be the best, the fastest, the first. The moment that I realize that I won't achieve the Best, I quit and move on to the next thing. It's tiring, really. Not to the point that I can stop this behavior...on my own. For years, I hung onto the "it's just who I am" excuse. But, today, in the moment, God showed me that it's not who I was created to be. I was created to bring Him glory. Discontent and rushing to the next thing doesn't glorify Him at all. It says that He's not good enough, fast enough, smart enough. Today, in the moment, He assured me that He is enough. All that He expects of me is to be still, be quiet, just stay, for a moment, in the moment...with Him because He is always already there.

"He is before all things, and in him all things hold together." Colossians 1:7

Living for the moment, in the moment and because of the moment. I will not be moved.